Sweet Sixteen Edition

Mind Your Manners

By Rabbi Joshua (politely known as The Hoffer) Hoffman !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!16!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With thanks to the Almighty for sustaining me and a prayer that he continue to so do, this week’s message marks the completion of sixteen years of Netvort. Thanks to the readers for their comments, questions, and criticisms, and to all those who have helped bring Netvort to print, especially over the last two years. As always, a special tip of the Hoffer cap to my gabbai/editor for his continued assistance.

Moshe, after warning Pharaoh of the coming plague of locust, leaves his presence, and Pharaoh’s servants plead with him to free the slaves, in order to avert the destructive plague. Pharaoh recalls Moshe and Aharon, and asks who they wish to go into the wilderness to serve God. They reply that everyone, men, women, and children will do so, and Pharaoh, insisting that only the men go, refuses to accede to the demand. The Torah then says, “he drove them way from Pharaoh’s presence” (Shemos 10:11). Rav Henoch Leibowitz, in his Chiddushei HaLeiv, cites the medieval commentator Riva, who asks why Moshe and Aharon delayed their exit until they were driven out, and answers that since Pharaoh had made a special effort to call them back to the palace, they did not want to leave without his permission. Rav Leibowitz, expanding on this comment, explains that, actually, Moshe and Aharon must have realized on their own, that Pharaoh would make them leave, and, to avoid that public disgrace, they should have just left without being told. Why didn’t they? Because it was not good manners, or derech eretz, to do so, and Moshe and Aharon felt that it was more important to act with derech eretz than to avoid their own personal disgrace. Rav Leibowitz derives from their comportment the importance of derech eretz, no matter whom one is dealing with, and bemoans the fact that many people today are not sensitive to this necessity. He refers the reader, in this regard, to his remarks on parshas Noach (Bereishis 9:2), in which he broadens this requirement.

After the flood, Noach plants a vineyard, and eventually drinks from its wine, leading to his disgrace. The midrash, as brought by Rashi, criticizes him for planting the vineyard, saying that he should have engaged in a different planting first. Rav Leibowitz cites the Seforno, who says that Noah began with an action that wasn’t nice, and this led to unfortunate consequences. Even though, says Rav Leibowitz, Noach may have felt that by planting a vineyard he would be facilitating the mitzvah of bringing a wine offering to God, and, moreover, he was never told by God not to plant a vineyard first, he should have realized on his own that it was not a nice thing to do. These comments of the Seforno, he continues, are similar to those of the Magid Mishneh, in his commentary to the Rambam (Laws of Neighbors) in reference to the mitzvah of doing the right and the good in the eyes of God (Devarim 1:18). The Magid Mishneh says that the Torah did not set down strict guidelines for fulfilling this mitzvah because its application depends on the circumstances of place and time. A person, he says, needs to know on his own how to act decently with people, and this is what the Torah requires in carrying out this mitzvah.

Interestingly, Rav Eliyahu Meir Bloch, in his Peninei Da’as to parshas Bo, states that the Jews had a sense of proper behavior, even toward their oppressors on the eve of their departure from Egypt. Rashi (Shemos 10:29) says that during the plague of darkness, the Jews entered the houses of the Egyptians and saw where they kept things, and this enabled them, when they left Egypt, to ask their neighbors to lend them specific valuable items that they possessed. Rav Bloch says, that, actually, it would be impolite to go around snooping in someone’s house when they are helpless to prevent it, and it would be embarrassing to later tell the homeowner that he had done so. Rather, he says, what must have happened is that since the Egyptians, during the plague of darkness, could not even stand up or sit down, they were unable to act or drink on their own either, and therefore, the Jews assisted them in taking care of those needs. In order to so do, they had to enter their homes, and, as a result, saw the possessions that they had. This sense of inherent decency, which is embedded in every human being, is, following Rav Leibowitz, more than just a matter of “being nice”, but a Biblical command, as expressed in the verse calling upon us to do that which is right and good in the eyes of God.