One For the Road

By Rabbi Joshua (limitly known as The Hoffer) Hoffman

Ki Seitzei contains more mitzvos than any other sidra in the Torah. While each mitzvah in the Torah stands by itself, as the Ibn Ezra says in parshas Mishpatim, the rabbis have pointed out that many of the mitzvos in this parsha are linked through the mechanism of “mitzvah goreres mitzvah,” and “aveirah goreres aveirah,” meaning that one mitzvah drags along another mitzvah, and an aveirah, a transgression, drags along another. The Maharal explains that since all of the mtizvos in the Torah form a one complete entity, there is an interconnection between them. Moreover, although in the other books of the Torah there is a dispute whether we expound on “semichas parshiyos,” the adjoining of one verse to another, everyone agrees that in the book of Devarim we do engage in such expositions. However one explains the reason for this exception, the fact is that we often find the Talmud offering such exposition in regard to Devarim. I would, in this spirit, like to suggest one instance in our parsha, of the connection between parshiyos.

The Torah tells us that when you come to the vineyard of your friend you may eat grapes as is your desire, your fill, but you may not put them in your vessel. The next verse says that when one comes into the standing crop of his fellow, he may cut ears with his hands, but not with a vessel (Devarim 22:22-23). From these two verses together, the Talmud derives that a worker may partake of a finished product when working for his employer. Following these two verses, we have the laws of divorce. I believe that here is a link between the laws of partaking of produce in the field and the law of divorce, as I will demonstrate.

The wording of the rule for a worker is “you may eat grapes as is your desire, your full, but you may not put them into your vessel. Rav Mordechai Ilan, in his Mikdash Mordechai, explains that a person will be satisfied with what he has only when he does not put away more in his vessels. If he is constantly worried about what will happen in the future, he will not be satisfied with what he has. The worker who puts grapes in his bag for tomorrow will not find satisfaction in what he eats today.

The importance of this approach to life is important in marriage as well. A person who always thinks “what if,” imagining what life could have been had he married differently, is planting the seeds for the dissolution of his relationship. The couple must concentrate on the bond they have now, and find their world in it, rather than imagine what could have been if they had been paired with somebody else. With the proper attitude, focusing on what they have now, they will be able to find satisfaction in their marriage, in the metaphysical entity that they have created, as Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, zt”l, used to refer to the marriage bond. Otherwise, they may, G-d forbid, be leaving an opening for the parsha of dissolution to enter their lives.