Parshas Devorim 5759 Tough Love
By Rabbi Joshua (lamentably known as The Hoffer) Hoffman

In memory of Rebbetzin Elisheva (Elizabeth) Shuchat Schwartz z"l, of Oceanside, Long Island, who passed away this Monday. May she be a melitza yeshara, a righteous intercessor, for us all.

   Parshas Devorim is always read on the Shabbos preceding TishaB'av. This has led many Torah commentators to attempt to find some connection between the parsha and the period of collective mourning we are now in. In last year's message, we focused on the topic of the sin of the spies, and the differences between the way it recorded here, and in parshas Shlach. The rabbis tell us that the spies came back with their evil report concerning the land on the night of Tisha B'Av. Because the people at that time cried for no good reason, the rabbis tell us, God decreed that, on that night, He would cause them to cry throughout the generations. Accordingly, the two Temples were destroyed on that date of the year, and many other tragedies occurred then over the course of Jewish history. We find, however, that rabbis explained the destruction of Jerusalem differently. Rabbi Betzalel Naor has pointed out, in his book Emunas Itecha, that the destruction of Jerusalem is not synonymous with the destruction of the Temples. The Temples were destroyed on the ninth of Av. However, the walls of Jerusalem were breached on the seventeenth of Tammuz. Thus, says Rabbi Naor, when the rabbis give a reason for the destruction of Jerusalem, they are speaking of the beginning of the process of destruction, and when they give a reason for the destruction of the Temples, they are speaking of the end of the process. Having discussed the end of the process last year, I would now like to address my remarks to the beginning of the process. 

  Why, then, was Jerusalem destroyed?  Many different reasons are given by the rabbis. Rabbi Naphtali Zevi Yehudah Berlin, the Netziv of Volozhin, wrote that when we find the rabbis giving many different reasons as the cause of a particular tragedy, the idea is that any one of those reasons alone is sufficient to have caused the tragedy. Another approach, offered by Rabbi Meir Zvi Bergman of Bnei Brak, is that the different reasons are interrelated. I believe that Rabbi Bergman's approach can help us reconcile two different reasons given for the destruction of Jerusalem, and provide us with an insight into this week's parsha, as well. 

  The rabbis tell us, on the one hand, that Jerusalem was destroyed because people did not recite the Shema properly, and, on the other hand, because people did not rebuke each other. What is the relation between these two statements? The essence of Shema is a declaration of love for God-"And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your substance." Someone who truly loves God will also love all of His creations, and will want them to love God and fulfill His will, as well. Rebuke, when delivered properly, stems from love. As we have had occasion to note in the past, the psychologist Rollo May wrote, in his book Love and Will, that the opposite of love is not hate, but apathy. To ignore someone's wrongdoing bespeaks an uncaring attitude, perhaps, even an attitude of letting the person 'hang himself on his own rope.' Pointing out his mistakes, when done in the proper way, is a demonstration of love, of concern for the person's welfare, and, in a higher sense, bespeaks a love of God. The rabbis are thus telling us that because the people of Jerusalem did not love God properly, they did not deliver proper rebuke to their fellow Jew, and as a result, Jerusalem was destroyed. Jerusalem is described by King David (Tehillim, 122, 3) as a city which unites- 'ke-ir shechubra la yachdav.' The rabbis explain that Jerusalem is a city which brings all Jews together. Because of this it was not divided up among the various tribes. Every Jew has a portion in Jerusalem- it belongs to the entire nation. The function of Jerusalem, then, is to unite all Jews in mutual love, and in their love of God.  By failing to rebuke each other in a proper way, the people of Jerusalem negated the function of that city, and brought about its destruction.

   Parshas Devorim presents us with the beginning of the rebuke that Moshe delivered to the Jewish people shortly before his death. The manner in which he delivered this rebuke is taken in the midrash, and subsequently elaborated upon by the commentators, as a model of the way in which a person should rebuke his friend. The Midrash Rabbah attributes to Moshe the verse in Mishlei (Proverbs, 28,23), "He who rebukes a man shall find more favor afterward than he who flatters him."  The Vilna Gaon explains this verse to man that someone who rebukes his friend, even though he quarrels with him, instructs him in God's ways, and thereby demonstrates his inner love. The midrash says that 'he who rebukes' refers to Moshe, and 'a man' refers to the nation of Israel. Rabbi Avraham Aharon Yudelevitch, a very colorful figure who served as rabbi of the historic Eldridge Street Shul on New York's Lower East Side of Manhattan in the 1920s, noted that the word for 'man' in the verse is 'adam.' Many authors, going back to Rabbi Shlomo Ephraim of Lunshits, author of the Kli Yakar, have pointed out that of all the Hebrew words for man, namely ish, enosh, gever and adam- only the word adam is written in the same way both in the singular and the plural. A Jew is always seen as part of the wider collective of the nation. It is in this sense that the rabbis say that only a Jew is called adam. They do not mean to say that a non-Jew is not a human being. We do in fact find that a verse which used the word 'ha-adam'-the man-is explained by the Talmud as referring to non-Jews. A non-Jew is viewed as an individual person. Even if he has a strong national identity, if he moves to another country, his descendants will eventually identify themselves with the nation among which they live. Only the Jewish people retain their link to each other no matter how far distant they are from each other geographically. Thus, the rabbis are telling us that Moshe viewed all of Israel as a unified whole, and sought to bring them together to serve God out of love. For this reason, our parsha begins with the verse, "These are the words which Moshe spoke to all of Yisroel." Moshe spoke his words of rebuke to all of the people as a unit, to underscore their interconnection.

    The Sefas Emes points out that Moshe included himself in the rebuke he delivered, when he said that the plan to send out the spies was good in his eyes-implying that it was not good in God's eyes, and that, in a sense, he erred by assenting to the people's request for this expedition. This could be viewed as a tactical strategy-in order for someone to have their rebuke accepted, they need to admit that they are not perfect. On another level, we can explain that Moshe did so in order to demonstrate that he was part of the people, united with them for the same purpose, and that his rebuke was an expression of love and concern that they all fulfill their individual missions and collective purpose. The avenue he used to guide them in this direction was the teaching of the Torah, as the Torah itself proceeds to tell us (Devorim, 1, 5), " On the other side of the Yarden in the land of Moav, Moshe began explaining the Torah, etc." Instead of merely criticizing the people and leaving it at that, Moshe explained their duties to them, and thereby showed them how to overcome their shortcomings in their service of God. The rabbis tell us in the Sifrei to parshas Va'eschanan that the study of Torah is a means of attaining the love of God. Rabbi Yisroel Salanter, founder of the musar movement, said that the best form of musar, of self discipline, is to study all of the halachic details of the area in which one finds himself deficient. It was based on this teaching of Rav Yisroel, in fact, that Rav Yisroel Meir Kagan, the Chofetz Chaim, decided to write his detailed works on the laws of leshon hora, or evil talk.His great love for every Jew led him to instruct them in this as well as many other important areas of Jewish law. He was, in this way, following the lead of Moshe Rabbeinu in his farewell address to his people.     

  A little further on in Moshe's speech of rebuke to the people, we find him saying, "May the Lord, God of your forefathers, add to you a thousand times, and bless you as He has spoken of you" (Devorim, 1, 11). Here. again, we can view this blessing as a tactical step. In order for rebuke to be accepted, it needs some sugar coating, some element of blessing, so that whoever is being rebuked will continue to listen.On another level, we can view it as an expression of the underlying love that was at the root of Moshe's rebuke. As he delivered his words of criticism, he had in mind that it was all for the benefit of his beloved people. On still another level, it can be an indication that Moshe's rebuke is in itself a blessing, serving to draw all of Israel together in its service of God. We are now in the process of mourning over a process of destruction that began with the breaching of the walls of Jerusalem and ended with the destruction of the Temple. These tragedies were, in essence, a form of divine rebuke. May we live to see the day that this rebuke will ultimately be recognized as a blessing and lead to the rebuilding of Jerusalem and the Temple.