Netvort Parshas Vayishlach 5771:          Confrontation
By Rabbi Joshua (strategically known as The Hoffer) Hoffman

In the beginning of this week's parsha, Yaakov prepares to meet with Esav after twenty-years of separation. The midrash tells us that when the rabbis used to meet with officials of foreign governments, particularly that of Rome, they would study this parsha for guidelines on how to confront them.  Interestingly, when Menachem Begin was Prime Minister of Israel and prepared to make his first trip to the United States to speak with the President and other officials, he went to see Rav Menachem Man Shach, zt'l, for advice on how to conduct himself.  Rav Shach told him to study the confrontation between Yaakov and Esav as described in Vayishlach.  Esav, as the forerunner of the nation of Edom, thus represented the physical embodiment of the nemesis of the Jewish people, and it is therefore instructive to study how Yaakov was able to weather the challenge that he faced.

As the midrash, cited by Rashi, points out, we see from our parsha that Yaakov armed himself with three strategies in confronting Eisav- with prayer, with a gift and with a battle array.  Rav Moshe Tzvi Neriah, in his Ner LaMaor, writes that these were not really three separate tactics that Yaakov used.  Rather, he prepared himself to bribe Eisav, and if that didn't work, he prepared to engage him in battle.  However, both of these tactics were coupled with prayer to God, because Yaakov knew that no matter what he did to prepare for his confrontation, it is ultimately God who decides what the outcome will be.

In the piyut, or liturgical prayer, of U'Nesaneh Tokef that is recited in most communities on both Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we say that teshuvah, or repentance, and tefillah, or prayer, and tzedakah, or charity, remove the evil decree. Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, zt'l, explained that these are not three independent tactics of removing the evil decree, but, rather, two methods of repenting-through prayer, and through charity. Thus, in regard to confronting the physical Esav, we use either or both a bribe and a battle array, both coupled with prayer.  When confronting our inner Eisav, “our spiritual challenges from within,” we do not begin with prayer, but with repentance.  Why this difference?  I believe that the answer lies in the fundamental difference between the natures of these two confrontations.

In regard to confronting the physical Esav, we must remember that even though we are responsible to do all we can to prevent him from harming us, we need to remember that it is God, and not us, who runs the world and decides the outcome of the confrontation.  In regard to our inner struggle, however, it is up to us to make the initial move toward repentance, and we are then assured that we will receive divine help in completing the process.  This is what the famous repentant, Rav Eliezer ben Deradiah, learned, as recorded in the Talmud (Avodah Zarah 17) when he asked the heavens the mountains, the rivers, etc., to pray for him, and they all refused. He then realized, that 'the matter is dependent only upon me,' as the Talmud tells us, his prayer was received and that he merited his portion in the next world.  We thus say, on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, that repentance, through prayer and/or through charity, will remove the evil decree.  Perhaps we can suggest that prayer and charity reflect two basic kinds of repentance-one, represented by prayer, in which we completely transform our personality and return fully to God, and another, represented by charity, in which we change slowly, deed by deed, as represented by charity.  In any case, the process must start with us, and, in return, we will receive divine assistance.