From: Netvort@aol.com
Sent: Friday, January 06, 2006 2:39 AM
To: JoshHoff@aol.com
Subject: Netvort : parshas Vayigash, 5766






                                              Can We All Get Along?

                   By Rabbi Joshua (reconcilably known as The Hoffer) Hoffman


  In the beginning of this week's parsha, Yehudah pleads with Yosef not to incarcerate Binyomin, in whose bag the missing goblet was found, but to take him, Yehudah, as a servant, instead. Yehudah argues that going back to his father without Binyomin will cause his father to die, due to the strong connection they shared. The Torah tells us that Yosef, on the verge of tears, could no longer restrain his emotions, and cleared the room of all those others who were standing before him, before revealing his true identity to his brothers. He then cries and tells them that he is Yosef, and asks if his father is, in fact, still alive, as they had indicated. Seeing that they were frightened, Yosef tells them to draw close to him, and, when they do, he says, "I am Yosef your brother whom you sold to Egypt" (Bereishis 45:4). A number of commentators ask why Yosef, who was trying to reconcile with his brothers, would bring up the sore point of their having sold him into slavery. He had other ways of proving his true identity, as the midrash notes, such as speaking in Hebrew, or, more specifically, as pointed out by Rabbi Nosson Adler in his Nesinah LeGer, the dialect of Hebrew that his family spoke, so he did not need to mention that painful episode merely to give a proof of his identity. Why, then, did he refer to that event? 


  Avivah Zornberg, in her work, The Beginning of Desire : Reflections on Genesis, writes that Yosef did, actually, mention his sale as an attempt at self-description, after seeing the initial response of his brothers to his self-disclosure. The secret of their sale was something that only Yosef could know, and, therefore, would serve as a certain indication of who he was. By also referring to himself as their brother, he was trying to mitigate any sense of shame that they may have had. In fact, argues Dr. Zornberg, Yosef's entire approach in dealing with his brothers, from the time they first came to Egypt to purchase food, was geared toward minimizing any shame they may eventually endure when they finally discovered that their brother, who they treated so harshly, was now a high Egyptian official whose policies and actions could determine their fate. Part of this tactic, she writes, was for self-protection, because he feared that their sense of shame may lead them to try to eliminate the source of their pain. However, Yosef was also filled with compassion for them, and genuinely did want to reconcile. Rabbi Raphoel Boruch Sorotzkin, in his HaBinah VeHaberacha, cites Rav Yerucham Levovitz, in his Chochmah U' Mussar, who explains that Yosef wanted to make things easier for his brothers. Usually, when someone wrongs another person, he is always worried that the wronged party will, at some time in the future, bring up the event and try to take retribution. Yosef therefore mentioned the event up front, and told them that it had worked out for the good, since as a result he reached the position he now had, and was, as a result, able to save the entire family form starvation. Rabbi Sorotzkin then goes on to explain other aspects of Yosef's self-revelation to his brothers, based on Rabbi Levovitz's insight.


  What is common in the various approaches we have seen is that, according to each of them, Yosef's intention was to make the process easier for his brothers. However, there is another side to his approach which these commentators do not touch on, namely, Yosef's own feelings about his brothers, and what they had done to him. Rabbi Aryeh Leib Bakst, zt"l, in his Kol Aryeh, writes that Yosef, in his comportment with his brothers, was teaching us the 'Toras HaNigzal,' meaning, the proper way for someone who has been robbed, or, as in Yosef's case, kidnapped, to act. Just as there are laws in the Torah regarding a robber, so too there are guidelines in regard to the one who was robbed, and a person who was wronged by another should not think that he can vent his anger against the offending party without limit. Our master teacher in this area of Torah, says Rabbi Bakst, is Yosef. Rather than acting out of vengeance towards his brothers, he viewed his predicament as being overseen by God, for his own benefit as well as for the benefit of his family. Therefore, as Rav  Dovid Feinstein has often stated, he actually had a feeling of gratitude towards his brothers for what they had done, and expressed this feeling to them in an effort to ease their minds after he revealed himself his true identity. In a wider sense, this attitude was to serve as a guide to the Jewish people in the future, in considering what happened to them in Egypt. The Torah tells us that we should not hate the Egyptians, because were sojourners in their land. Thus, despite the fact that we suffered under the Egyptians, we also benefited from them, and should not harbor bad feelings against them. Following Rabbi Bakst's approach, then, when Yosef mentioned their sale of him to Egypt, he did so in order to assure them that he did not harbor any ill feelings towards them for that episode. 


  Many years ago, I was privileged to study the sections of the Torah dealing with the sale of Yosef, under the incomparable teacher, Nechama Leibovits. I remember her remarking at the time that this account, which stretches over four parshiyos in the Torah, contains all the elements of great drama. Perhaps, then, it is not out of place to mention the comments of the dramatist David Mamet in his work  "Five Cities of Refuge", concerning Yosef's strategy in dealing with his brothers, especially since it conforms to the approach of Rabbi Bakst, and can serve as an expansion of it. Mr. Mamet writes that Yosef was actually undergoing a long process of self-cleansing, trying to rid himself of any feelings of hatred towards his brothers and of any desire to take revenge for what they had done to him. The Torah is telling us, according to Mr. Mamet, that such feelings cannot be ignored, but must be dealt with and mastered. Telling all of the others in the room to leave before he revealed his identity was, symbolically, a means of driving out any inner voices that may have advised him to take retribution. Moreover, since these people were his advisers, they may have urged him to treat his brothers in the same way they had treated him. When Yosef then allowed himself to cry out loud, in contrast to previous occasions when he suppressed his tears, he was cleansing himself of any bad feelings he still retained. Following this explanation, perhaps we can suggest that Yosef mentioned his sale at this time as an outer expression of the inner process he had gone through, ridding himself of any residual feelings. Although most commentators explain Yosef's behavior towards his brothers over the course of their journeys to Egypt as a means of bringing them to repent, the approach we are now presenting does not necessarily contradict that one. Part of repentance for sins of man to his fellow man is the requirement to appease the wronged party, who is advised by the rabbis to accept that appeasement. Yosef, in his process of self-cleansing, was thus clearing the ground for that acceptance, thus helping his brothers achieve complete repentance for their actions.



   
  Please address all correspondence to the author (Rabbi Hoffman) with the following address - JoshHoff @ AOL.com.

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