From: Netvort@aol.com
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2005
3:13 AM
To: JoshHoff@aol.com
Subject: Netvort : parshas
Vayeitzei, 5766
Who Do You Think I
Am?
By Rabbi Joshua (unassumingly known as The Hoffer) Hoffman
The
Torah relates that after Leah had given birth to four children and Rachel had
not given birth to any, Rachel became jealous of Leah and complained to Ya'akov,
saying, "Give me children - if not, I am dead." Ya'akov became angry, and
replied, "Am I in place of God, Who has withheld from you fruit of the womb?"
(Bereishis 29:1-2). Many of the commentators are puzzled by this harsh reply.
Was this the proper way for someone like Ya'akov, who the rabbis refer to as the
choicest of the forefathers, to speak to a childless woman, especially his own
wife? Nechama Leibovits, of blessed memory, was fond of citing the explanation
of Rabbi Yitzchak Arama, who writes, in his commentary Akeidas Yitzchak, that
Ya'akov was troubled by Rachel's statement that not having children was
considered as death in her eyes, as if to say that the only purpose for a
woman's existence is to bear children. Actually, argued Ya'akov, a woman has a
relationship with God quite independent of whether or not she brings children
into the world. This is what he meant when he said, "Am I in God's place?"
Rachel's relationship with God, he was saying, did not depend on whether or not
he gave her children, and, therefore, she was wrong in implying that without
children, she would be as if she were dead. While this explanation is
significant in its championing of women's spiritual capacities independent of
their maternal role, it does not seem to conform to the flow of the verses,
which center around the contrast between Leah giving birth and Rachel remaining
childless. In that context, Ya'akov's anger seems to be directed more to
Rachel's view of his role in providing her with children that with his view of
Rachel's own function in life. What, then, was the cause of his anger?
Avivah Zornberg, in her work, The Beginning of Desire :
Reflections on Genesis, writes that Ya'akov's anger was due to Rachel's emphasis
on bearing children, rather their own relationship. Ya'akov, as the Torah tells
us, immediately fell in love with Rachel upon seeing her, and continued to love
her more than he did Leah after marrying both of them. Therefore, he was
disconcerted when she placed the entire emphasis of their life together on the
bearing of children. Rabbi Avraham Korman, in his work Haparsha Ledoroseha,
gives a similar explanation, and points out that whereas in regard to Leah, the
birth of children seems to be a means toward drawing Ya'akov closer to her and
loving her, Rachel took the opposite approach, and viewed her marriage to
Ya'akov as a means to having children, which was her major goal. According to
this approach, Ya'akov's anger was really a way of venting his frustration over
Rachel's failure to view their relationship in the same way that he did. Here,
too, the main point seems to be missing. Ya'akov's question, " Am I in God's
place," seems to imply that he objected to Rachel's placing the burden of her
having children squarely on his shoulders, while in fact God is the one who
makes this determination. I believe, however that we can follow this basic,
simple explanation and still retain the insights of the Akeidas Yitzchak, Dr.
Zornberg and Rabbi Korman.
Rabbi David Kimchi, or Radak,
writes that Ya'akov's anger came as a result of Rachel's implication that
Ya'akov was the one to determine whether or not she would have children. In
reality, it is God who makes that determination, and, therefore, Rachel should
have prayed to Him. This approach is already mentioned in Targum Onkelos, and
spelled out more explicitly in Targum Yerushalmi. I believe, however, that
Ya'akov had more in mind in his answer than the basic fact that a person is
supposed to pray to God for things which are in His hands. I believe that he was
trying to get Rachel to develop her own powers of prayer, because her role in
Jewish history would be to pray on behalf of her children. After all, as Rashi
tells us in the beginning of parshas Toldos, when Yitzchok and Rivkoh prayed for
children, God answered Yitzchok's prayers, and not Rivkoh’s because Yitzchok was
a righteous person and also the son of a righteous person, while Rivkoh,
although a righteous person in her own right, was the daughter of an evil man.
In the case of Ya'akov and Rachel, the same lineage obtained. Why, then, would
Ya'akov tell Rachel, who was also childless, that she was the one who needed to
pray? I believe it is because Ya'akov knew that Rachel would become a paradigm
of prayer for the Jewish people.
The Torah tells us that when
Ya'akov first saw Rachel, he kissed her, and then cried (Bereishis 29:11). Why
did he cry? The midrashim and commentators provide us with answers to this
question, but I would like to focus on a midrash cited by Rashi. Ya'akov cried,
the midrash tells us, because he foresaw that, although Rachel would become his
wife, she would not be buried with him in the Cave of Machpeilah. Why wouldn't
she be buried there? Another midrash explains that Rachel would be buried on the
road to Ephras so that, when the Jewish people would be led into exile, she
would cry for them and pray for their return. This is what the prophet Yirmiyahu
refers to when he says, " Thus said God, ‘A voice is heard on high…... Rachel
cries for her children. There is reward for your work….. and your children will
return to their border’" (Yirmiyahu 31:14-16). These verses have been used as
the lyrics for many songs, and, to this day, Jews go to Rachel's grave, asking
her to intercede for them. Ya'akov, having experienced this vision of Rachel
being buried on the road, understood that, despite his great love for her, she
had an independent role to play. In order to fulfill that role, she needed to
rely on her own power of prayer and to develop it. Therefore, Ya'akov told her
that it was up to her to pray for children, because, in the future, it would be
her prayers that would help bring those children back to their land, where they
would be able to serve as God's nation on earth.
Please address all
correspondence to the author (Rabbi Hoffman) with the following address -
JoshHoff @ AOL.com.
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