In this week's parsha we learn of Avrohom's tremendous dedication to doing acts of kindness, which made him a model for future generations of the Jewish people. On a scorchingly hot day, still healing from the circumcision he had undergone three days earlier, he sits outside his tent, hoping that a guest will appear. Suddenly he sees three nomads wandering in the wilderness, and invites them into his home, to eat and to refresh themselves. He goes about the preparations for the meal with great alacrity, and enlists the aid of his wife Soroh, as well, saying to her, " Hurry! Three seah's of unsifted flour, sifted flour! Knead and make cakes"(Bereishis 18 : 6). Actually, this verse poses a problem. What was it that Avrohom wanted her to prepare? Was it unsifted flour (kemach), which is of inferior quality, or sifted flour (soles), the superior variety? The words for unsifted flour and sifted flour - kemach and soles - occur in the verse one immediately after the other - "kemach soles." The rabbis, in the Talmud, Bava Metzioh, 87a, noted this difficulty, and understood the verse to mean that Soroh asked if she should prepare unsifted flour, which is the inferior item, and Avrohom told her to prepare sifted flour. We learn from here, conclude the rabbis that a woman's eye is 'tzoroh,' begrudging, in regard to guests, more than is the eye of a man.
The Talmud's conclusion, based on their solution to the anomaly in the text, seems to raise more problems than it solves. Given that their observation about a woman's attitude towards guests is accurate, still, why would the Torah choose the incident of Avrohom's magnificent display of hospitality as the place to teach us this? Moreover, wasn't Soroh Avrohom's loyal helpmate, who assisted him in his work ? Rashi, on last week's parsha, noted that Avrohom would influence men to convert and believe in God, while Soroh influenced the woman to do the same. Part of this work, the rabbis teach us, was done by inviting guests in and providing them with food and drink. When they were about to leave and wanted to thank Avrohom, he would tell them to direct their thanks to God, who is the real Provider. How is it then that exactly in the midst of the prime example of Avrohom's trait of kindness and hospitality, the Torah teaches us that his helpmate, Soroh, tried to be stingy? I would like to answer this question based on a kabbalistic concept that I first learned of from my dear friend, Rabbi Ari D. Kahn, author of Mioray HoAish on the weekly parsha (see aish.com).
In kabbalistic literature, the ovos (patriarchs) and imohos (matriarchs) formed teams, working together to develop certain character traits as paradigms for the Jewish people. However, this does not mean that the spouses of each of the three patriarchs exemplified the same character traits as the respective ovos. On the contrary, they exemplified the opposite character trait. Thus, while Avrohom exemplified chesed, or kindness, Soroh exemplified din, or strict justice. This was necessary, because either one of those two traits, when taken to the extreme, can lead to disastrous results. Thus, the rabbis note that the Torah refers to incest as chesed, because it is an instance of unbridled chesed, of giving gone too far, without restraint. The wives of the ovos had to put a check on the particular trait that they exemplified, in order that it not be applied in situations when it was not appropriate. On a more simple level, this is also the meaning of the appellation that the Torah gives to a man's wife - an "eizer kenegdo" (Bereishis 2 : 20), which literally means, a helpmate against him. As Rabbi Dovid Feinstein explains, a man's wife actually helps him by opposing him at certain times, in the sense of being the "loyal opposition." Ultimately, they both strive for the same goals, but they see things in different ways, and mutually help each other in determining how to act in each situation.
Following the concept that the wives of the ovos represented the loyal opposition, Soroh needed, at times, to restrain Avrohom's trait of chesed. We thus find, later in the pasha, that Soroh told Avrohom to expel Yishmoel from their home despite Avrohom's deep love for him, because of his bad influence on Yitzchok. Moreover, God told Avrohom to accept this demand of Soroh. Perhaps, then, in a similar way, when Avrohom brought his nomad guests into his house, Soroh felt, for some reason, that there was a need to restrain the usual measure of generosity that Avrohom displayed towards his guests. Perhaps, she felt, these were idol worshippers who did not deserve such royal treatment. In this case, Avrohom was not told by God to listen to Soroh, and he saw no reason to exercise restraint. We know that Soroh did not realize the nature of these guests, that they were really angels, but perhaps Avrohom sensed something special about them. On a higher level, it is possible that her very suggestion that Avrohom use unsifted flour generated his response that she should use sifted flour, in the sense that resistance sometimes evokes an opposite response. Either way we look at it, Soroh, by suggesting that unsifted flour be used, was being consistent with her role as being the loyal opposition, and served as a true helpmate to Avrohom.
Please address all correspondence to the author (Rabbi Hoffman) at the following address - JoshHoff @ AOL.com.
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