From: JoshHoff@aol.com
Sent: Friday, November 24, 2006 5:09 AM
To: JoshHoff@aol.com
Subject: Netvort: parshas Toldos, 5767



                                         
                                                  The Good Mother

                       By Rabbi Joshua (caringly known as The Hoffer) Hoffman


 Towards the end of this week's parsha, after Eisav discovers that Yaakov tricked Yitzchok into giving him the blessings meant for Eisav, he decides that once Yitzchok dies, he will kill Yaakov. Rivkoh, learning through ruach ha-kodesh, or the holy spirit, of Eisav’s plans, informs Yaakov of them and tells him to flee to the house of her brother Lavan in Padan Aram. She then tells Yitzchok that she is disgusted with her life on account of the daughters of Cheis whom Eisav had taken as wives, and says, "if Yaakov takes a wife of the daughters of Cheis like these, why do I need life?" (Bereishis 28:46). Yitzchok, therefore, instructs Yaakov to go to Padan Aram to take a wife from there, and not to take a wife from among the Canaanites. In describing these instructions, the Torah tells us that "Yitzchok sent off Yaakov, and he went toward Padam Aram, to Lavan the son of Besuel the Aramean, brother of Rivkoh, mother of Yaakov and Eisav (Bereishis 28:5). Why did the Torah mention this last fact, that Rivkoh was the mother of Yaakov and Eisav? Didn’t we know that already?


 Rashi says that he does not know what the phrase comes to teach us. Ramban, however, says that the Torah is hereby emphasizing Rivkoh's approach to dealing with her two children. Since she was the mother of Eisav as well as of Yaakov, we would think that she would have also arranged for Eisav to take a wife. However, since she knew that Yaakov would be the one to take over  the leadership and pass on the legacy of Avrohom to the next generation, she only concerned herself with Yaakov's future wife and not with Eisav's. In other words, Ramban understands the Torah's providing of this information as a way of emphasizing how distant Rivkoh was from Eisav. Rabbi Shmuel David Luzzatto, or Shadal, in his commentary, elaborates on this point, as well, although he does not mention the Ramban. Shadal suggests, alternatively, that the Torah mentions Rivkoh as being the mother of Yaakov and Eisav to indicate that Eisav, as the son of Rivkoh, should also have been worried about causing his parents anguish by his choice of wives, but he did not. Even though the Torah tells us that after Eisav heard that Cannaanite women were, in their parents eyes, bad choices for marriage partners, he went and married a daughter of Yishmael, Rashi points out that he did not divorce his first wives, and thus added more evil to his original evil. Shadal concludes that the Torah’s general focus here is to speak in praise of Yaakov and in disparagement of Eisav. I believe that this final comment of Shadal helps explain why all of these commentators did not offer what seems to me to be the more obvious meaning of the phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav," as suggested by Chizkuni.


 Chizkuni, in his second explanation of our verse, says that the Torah mentions that Rivkoh was the mother of Yaakov and Eisav to indicate that, as the mother of both, she had the good of both of them in mind. In fact, when Rivkoh tells Yaakov that Eisav wants to kill him and he should therefore flee to the house of Lavan, she says, "why should I be bereaved of both of you on the same day?" (Bereishis 27:45).  Rashi explains that when Eisav ties to kill Yaakov, Yaakov, in self-defense, will kill Eisav, and then Eisav’s children will kill Yaakov, in revenge. Chizkuni mentions this comment of Rivkoh as proof that she had the good of both sons in mind. Ralbag, as well, in the section of his commentary entitled ‘ Toalios,’ or benefits, in which he  explains all of the lessons we can derive from a particular section of the Torah, lists  the seventh benefit in this section as being that parents should have mercy on all of their children, even if some of them are bad, as we find in the case of Rivkoh, who said "why should I be bereaved of both of you on the same day?’ Although Ralbag does not go on to explain the phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav" as a reflection of Rivkoh's motherly feelings for both, as Chizkuni does, I believe that this explanation of the Chizkuni is compatible with the Ralbag's explanation of her fear of both of them dying on the same day. Interestingly, Rashi, in explaining Rivkoh’s comment about bereavement, says that the word ‘shakul’ - translated as 'bereaved' - refers to a parent who buries a child. Rashi seems to be saying that Rivkoh used this word in regard to Eisav in a technical sense, rather in the emotional sense of a bereaved parent, as Ralbag explains it. Rashi, apparently, was going out of his way to avoid saying that Rivkoh had natural motherly feelings for Eisav, as Chizkuni and Ralbag say that she did have.  Why is this so?


When Rivkoh was pregnant and experienced difficulty in labor, she went to ask a prophet why this was happening to her. The answer she received was that she had twins, and each would form a nation, and the older one would serve the younger. Ramban says that Rivkoh’s subsequent approach to her two sons was driven by this prophecy, and is in the background of the subterfuge she orchestrated in order for Yaakov to receive the blessings from Yitzchok. This is similar to what the Ramban says in answer to his question of why Yosef did not inform his father Yaakov that he was in Egypt all those years, and thereby relieve him of the anguish he must have felt,  not knowing of his beloved  son's whereabouts. Yosef’s dreams, says the Ramban, constituted a prophecy, and Yosef felt that the reason he was given this prophecy was in order to play a role in bringing it about. Informing his father prematurely that he was in Egypt would, he felt, have prevented  him from fulfilling his mission. Rivkoh, according to the Ramban, felt the same way in regard to the prophecy she received about her two sons, and therefore she felt that she had to do her part in bringing about its fruition.


 Although Ramban does not say this, perhaps we can suggest that it was because of Rivkoh's motherly feelings for Eisav’s welfare, despite the fact that he was, indeed, acting in a very evil fashion. Ramban, as we saw, does not explain the phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav’ as being an expression of motherly care, as Chizkuni does in his second explanation. Apparently, this approach understands that just as Yosef suppressed his natural desire to inform his father of where he was and thereby relieve his anguish, Rivkoh, in her approach to her two sons, suppressed her natural feelings for Eisav in order to bring about the prophecy she received. Ralbag and Chizkuni, apparently, did not understand Rivkoh’s reaction to the prophecy in this way, and therefore explained the verses as expressions of Rivkoh’s maternal feelings, which would seem to be the simplest way of explaining them. Perhaps, then, we can suggest that Rashi, as well, understood Rivkoh’s approach to her two sons in a way similar to the Ramban, and this is why he said that he did not understand what the words ‘mother of Yaakov and eisav’ come to teach us. The simple explanation would be that the Torah is telling us that Rivkoh was exhibiting the natural feelings of love every mother has for a child, no matter how bad he may be. However, since Rivkoh suppressed these feelings in order to assure that Yaakov would be the one to carry on Yitzchok’s legacy, this cannot be what the verse means, and, therefore, Rashi wrote that he did not, in fact, know how to explain it.



 Please address all correspondence to the author (Rabbi Hoffman-paternalistically known as The Hoffer) with the following address - JoshHoff @ AOL.com.

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