From: JoshHoff@aol.com
Sent: Friday, November 24, 2006
5:09 AM
To: JoshHoff@aol.com
Subject: Netvort: parshas
Toldos, 5767
The
Good Mother
By
Rabbi Joshua (caringly known as The Hoffer) Hoffman
Towards
the end of this week's parsha, after Eisav discovers that Yaakov tricked
Yitzchok into giving him the blessings meant for Eisav, he decides that once
Yitzchok dies, he will kill Yaakov. Rivkoh, learning through ruach ha-kodesh, or
the holy spirit, of Eisav’s plans, informs Yaakov of them and tells him to flee
to the house of her brother Lavan in Padan Aram. She then tells Yitzchok that
she is disgusted with her life on account of the daughters of Cheis whom Eisav
had taken as wives, and says, "if Yaakov takes a wife of the daughters of Cheis
like these, why do I need life?" (Bereishis 28:46). Yitzchok, therefore,
instructs Yaakov to go to Padan Aram to take a wife from there, and not to take
a wife from among the Canaanites. In describing these instructions, the Torah
tells us that "Yitzchok sent off Yaakov, and he went toward Padam Aram, to Lavan
the son of Besuel the Aramean, brother of Rivkoh, mother of Yaakov and Eisav
(Bereishis 28:5). Why did the Torah mention this last fact, that Rivkoh was the
mother of Yaakov and Eisav? Didn’t we know that already?
Rashi
says that he does not know what the phrase comes to teach us. Ramban, however,
says that the Torah is hereby emphasizing Rivkoh's approach to dealing with her
two children. Since she was the mother of Eisav as well as of Yaakov, we would
think that she would have also arranged for Eisav to take a wife. However, since
she knew that Yaakov would be the one to take over the leadership and pass
on the legacy of Avrohom to the next generation, she only concerned herself with
Yaakov's future wife and not with Eisav's. In other words, Ramban understands
the Torah's providing of this information as a way of emphasizing how distant
Rivkoh was from Eisav. Rabbi Shmuel David Luzzatto, or Shadal, in his
commentary, elaborates on this point, as well, although he does not mention the
Ramban. Shadal suggests, alternatively, that the Torah mentions Rivkoh as being
the mother of Yaakov and Eisav to indicate that Eisav, as the son of Rivkoh,
should also have been worried about causing his parents anguish by his choice of
wives, but he did not. Even though the Torah tells us that after Eisav heard
that Cannaanite women were, in their parents eyes, bad choices for marriage
partners, he went and married a daughter of Yishmael, Rashi points out that he
did not divorce his first wives, and thus added more evil to his original evil.
Shadal concludes that the Torah’s general focus here is to speak in praise of
Yaakov and in disparagement of Eisav. I believe that this final comment of
Shadal helps explain why all of these commentators did not offer what seems to
me to be the more obvious meaning of the phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav," as
suggested by Chizkuni.
Chizkuni, in his second explanation of
our verse, says that the Torah mentions that Rivkoh was the mother of Yaakov and
Eisav to indicate that, as the mother of both, she had the good of both of them
in mind. In fact, when Rivkoh tells Yaakov that Eisav wants to kill him and he
should therefore flee to the house of Lavan, she says, "why should I be bereaved
of both of you on the same day?" (Bereishis 27:45). Rashi explains that
when Eisav ties to kill Yaakov, Yaakov, in self-defense, will kill Eisav, and
then Eisav’s children will kill Yaakov, in revenge. Chizkuni mentions this
comment of Rivkoh as proof that she had the good of both sons in mind. Ralbag,
as well, in the section of his commentary entitled ‘ Toalios,’ or benefits, in
which he explains all of the lessons we can derive from a particular
section of the Torah, lists the seventh benefit in this section as being
that parents should have mercy on all of their children, even if some of them
are bad, as we find in the case of Rivkoh, who said "why should I be bereaved of
both of you on the same day?’ Although Ralbag does not go on to explain the
phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav" as a reflection of Rivkoh's motherly
feelings for both, as Chizkuni does, I believe that this explanation of the
Chizkuni is compatible with the Ralbag's explanation of her fear of both of them
dying on the same day. Interestingly, Rashi, in explaining Rivkoh’s comment
about bereavement, says that the word ‘shakul’ - translated as 'bereaved' -
refers to a parent who buries a child. Rashi seems to be saying that Rivkoh used
this word in regard to Eisav in a technical sense, rather in the emotional sense
of a bereaved parent, as Ralbag explains it. Rashi, apparently, was going out of
his way to avoid saying that Rivkoh had natural motherly feelings for Eisav, as
Chizkuni and Ralbag say that she did have. Why is this so?
When
Rivkoh was pregnant and experienced difficulty in labor, she went to ask a
prophet why this was happening to her. The answer she received was that she had
twins, and each would form a nation, and the older one would serve the younger.
Ramban says that Rivkoh’s subsequent approach to her two sons was driven by this
prophecy, and is in the background of the subterfuge she orchestrated in order
for Yaakov to receive the blessings from Yitzchok. This is similar to what the
Ramban says in answer to his question of why Yosef did not inform his father
Yaakov that he was in Egypt all those years, and thereby relieve him of the
anguish he must have felt, not knowing of his beloved son's
whereabouts. Yosef’s dreams, says the Ramban, constituted a prophecy, and Yosef
felt that the reason he was given this prophecy was in order to play a role in
bringing it about. Informing his father prematurely that he was in Egypt would,
he felt, have prevented him from fulfilling his mission. Rivkoh, according
to the Ramban, felt the same way in regard to the prophecy she received about
her two sons, and therefore she felt that she had to do her part in bringing
about its fruition.
Although Ramban does not say this, perhaps
we can suggest that it was because of Rivkoh's motherly feelings for Eisav’s
welfare, despite the fact that he was, indeed, acting in a very evil fashion.
Ramban, as we saw, does not explain the phrase "mother of Yaakov and Eisav’ as
being an expression of motherly care, as Chizkuni does in his second
explanation. Apparently, this approach understands that just as Yosef suppressed
his natural desire to inform his father of where he was and thereby relieve his
anguish, Rivkoh, in her approach to her two sons, suppressed her natural
feelings for Eisav in order to bring about the prophecy she received. Ralbag and
Chizkuni, apparently, did not understand Rivkoh’s reaction to the prophecy in
this way, and therefore explained the verses as expressions of Rivkoh’s maternal
feelings, which would seem to be the simplest way of explaining them. Perhaps,
then, we can suggest that Rashi, as well, understood Rivkoh’s approach to her
two sons in a way similar to the Ramban, and this is why he said that he did not
understand what the words ‘mother of Yaakov and eisav’ come to teach us. The
simple explanation would be that the Torah is telling us that Rivkoh was
exhibiting the natural feelings of love every mother has for a child, no matter
how bad he may be. However, since Rivkoh suppressed these feelings in order to
assure that Yaakov would be the one to carry on Yitzchok’s legacy, this cannot
be what the verse means, and, therefore, Rashi wrote that he did not, in fact,
know how to explain it.
Please address all correspondence to the
author (Rabbi Hoffman-paternalistically known as The Hoffer) with the following
address - JoshHoff @ AOL.com.
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