From: Netvort@aol.com Sent: Friday, December 02, 2005 1:44 AM To: JoshHoff@aol.com Subject: Netvort : parshas Toldos, 5766 What Went Wrong? By Rabbi Joshua (deviantly known as The Hoffer) Hoffman The Torah, relating what occurred during the early years of Ya'akov and Eisav, tells us, "The lads grew up and Eisav became one who knows trapping, a man of the field ; and Ya'akov was a complete man, a dweller of tents" (Bereishis 23:27). Rashi, citing the midrash, comments that as long as they were small, they were indistinguishable in their deeds, and no one could tell their different natures. Once they reached the age of thirteen, however, Ya'akov set out for the house of study, while Eisav set out for idolatry. Rabbi Shimshon Raphael Hirsch, in his Torah commentary, theorizes that the difference that developed between the two boys may have been less a function of their varied temperaments than of the education provided them by their parents Yitzchok and Rivkoh. Until the boys were thirteen, says Rabbi Hirsch, they received the same education, despite the difference in their natures. This educational approach ignored the principle, later taught by King Shlomo in his book of Mishlei, that one must educate the child according to his own unique 'derech,' or path in life. Had Yitzchok and Rivkoh taken notice of their different natures, then perhaps they could have harnessed Eisav's energy in a way that could be used to promote Torah, and thereby be able to work hand in hand with Ya'akov in spreading an awareness of God's word. Had they done this, history may have developed in a starkly different manner than it actually did. Instead, Eisav became an enemy of Ya'akov, and continually sought to destroy him. Rabbi Hirsch's explanation reflects his own role as an educator of a new age of Jewish youth in nineteenth century Germany, and their unique needs. However, I do not believe that it captures the essence of what went wrong in the early development of Eisav, nor does it explain why he went 'off the derech,' straying from the values that were to characterize the emerging Jewish nation. The Torah, after all, tells us that when Rivkoh was pregnant she felt a struggle occurring within her, and she went to inquire what it signified. She was told, through a prophet, that two nations would emerge from her, one always trying to overcome the other. Although, according to Rabbi Naphtoli Tzvi Yehudoh Berlin in his commentary Ha'amek Davar, the relationship between Yitzchok and Rivkoh was such that Rivkoh never told Yitzchok about this prophecy, and this lack of communication was the causal factor in the very different development of the two children, I would argue that, more likely, she did tell her husband of the communication she had received, and that they had different approaches regarding how to respond to it. Rivkoh was told, by the prophet, that "two nations are in your womb" (Bereishis 25:23). Rashi notes, based on a midrash, that the word for 'nations' - goyim - is spelled in a way that it can be read as 'geyim,' or proud ones, and is thus a veiled reference to the fact that, in the future, Rabbi Yehudoh and Antoninus would emerge from Ya'akov and Eisav. These two figures shared a unique friendship, which, in its time, facilitated the spread of Torah. Rabbi Meir Simcha of Dvinsk, in his commentary Meshech Chochmoh, explains that the message given to Rivkoh was meant to ease her mind about the impending birth. Since she felt movement both when she walked past a study house and when she walked past a house of idolatry, she felt that there was a bad side as well as a good side that would emerge from the birth. In this way she felt she would be unlike Sarah, who chose a good portion when she evicted Hagar. This is what bothered Rivkoh. The message she received from the prophet was that even within the bad side of the birth, there would be a positive element, as well, since Antoninus would eventually emerge from it. Rav Meir Simcha's comment can be better understood in light of an explanation that Rabbi Yochanan Zweig, Rosh Yeshiva in Miami Beach, Florida, once gave to another rabbinic statement. The Talmud tells us that the descendants of Haman taught Torah in Bnei Brak. Rabbi Zweig explained that since Haman's attempt to destroy the Jewish nation brought about their collective repentance, there must have been a spark of good hidden somewhere at the core of the plan. Similarly, according to Rav Meir Simcha, the fact that an Antoninus would eventually emerge from Eisav indicated that there was something good at Eisav's core, as well. Based on Rav Meir Simcha's explanation of the midrash, we can better understand the different approaches that Yitzchok and Rivkoh took towards Ya'akov and Eisav. Yitzchok, knowing that, at some point in history, a working relationship between Ya'akov and Eisav would emerge, believed that this future development indicated something basically good about Eisav, which, if nurtured properly, could be used in the service of God. Rivkoh, on the other hand, believed that the two children were too different to be able to work together, and, therefore, in a sense rejected Eisav, in favor of Ya'akov. Following Rabbi Hirsch's approach that Yitzchok and Rivkoh erred in raising their two sons, but arguing with his explanation of the actual mistake they made, I would argue that what went wrong is that they gave mixed messages to their children, each taking a different approach to how they should be raised. To paraphrase the character 'Jimbo' (aka James Dean) in the classic 1950s film about troubled, rebellious teenagers, "Rebel Without a Cause," Eisav must have felt that he was being torn apart by his parents, each pulling him in a different direction. As Faranak Margolese, in her recent book on deviant religious behavior among Jewish youth, Off the Derech, writes, when a child receives mixed messages from his two parents he is very likely to react in a way that does not reflect either of their values. Apparently, this is what happened in regard to Eisav, as well, thus paving the way for a history of conflict between the descendants of the two brothers. Please address all correspondence to the author (Rabbi Hoffman) with the following address - JoshHoff @ AOL.com. To subscribe to Netvort, send a message with subject line subscribe, to Netvort@aol.com. To unsubscribe, send message with subject line unsubscribe, to the same address.