Keeping Together

By Rabbi Joshua (developmentally known as The Hoffer) Hoffman

Avraham sends his servant Eliezer to find a wife for his son Yitzchok. He instructs Eliezer very emphatically not to take a wife for Yitzchok from the land of Cana’an, but, rather, from someone in his family in the land of Aram. The Derashos HaRan explains that even though the people in Aram worshipped idols, they had good character traits, while the people in Cana’an had bad character traits. When it comes to marrying and establishing a family, good character traits are of overwhelming importance, as they are passed on from generation to generation. Mistaken beliefs, on the other hand, are not necessarily passed down, and can be cured over the course of time. Avraham, therefore, wanted to make sure that his son would marry a woman with good character, who would teach these traits to the next generation.

Rav Eliyahu Lopian, in his Lev Eliyahu, speaks at length on the importance of good character traits as a basis in life. Among many other things, he says that a person with good character traits has personal integrity and is constantly trying to improve himself. Given that this is the case, even if he worships idolatry, his quest for wholeness will leave him open to recognize the truth when he encounters it, and accept God. This insight of Rav Lopian can help us to explain a well known statement of the rabbis, cited by Rashi in regard to the recording of Eliezer’s search for a wife of Yitzchok.

The Torah repeats the episode of Eliezer’s search for a wife for Yitzchok, telling it both as it happened and as related by Eliezer to Rivkah’s family. Commenting on this, the rabbis say that the conversation of the servants of the patriarchs is more pleasing before God than the Torah of their descendants, as we find that many essential Torah laws are derived only by allusion. We have, in the past, mentioned the explanation that I heard from my teacher, Rav Herzl Kaplan, of Chicago, who said that we see reflected in Eliezer’s words the great faith of Avraham, for he was able to relate the events to Rivkah’s family in a way that so clearly showed God’s hand that he brought a former idolater to admit that the matter had come from God. Based on Rav Lopian’s ideas I would like to suggest another explanation.

When Eliezer related his story to Rivkah’s family, he mentioned that he had said to Avraham, “Perhaps the woman will not follow me” (Bereishis 24:39). The word for “perhaps” – ulai – is written defectively, without a vav, and can be read as “aylei,” or, to me. The Midrash explains that Eliezer had a daughter, and was trying to find a way for Avraham to accept her for Yitzchok (see Rashi). Interestingly, when the Torah related the actual incident in which Eliezer, while receiving instructions from Avraham, asked perhaps the woman will not follow, the word is not written defectively (Bereishis 24:5). Why not? Rav Avraham Mordechai of Gur, as cited by Rabbi Eli Munk in his “The Call of the Torah,” says that Eliezer did not at first admit to himself that he had an ulterior motive. As he saw the events developing and realized that Rivkah was meant, by God, for Yitzchok, he admitted to himself what he had in mind. This act of self-perception and admission reflects his personal integrity, and shows us how the good character traits of Avraham influenced the character of his servant, Eliezer, warranting the repetition of the Torah in relating this incident.