Netvort Chayei Sarah 5773: Nothing to Discuss

By Rabbi Joshua (unquestioningly known as the Hoffer) Hoffman

As Avraham enters his old age, he realizes that it is time to find a wife for Yitzchak. He therefore calls on his faithful servant Eliezer to leave Eretz Yisroel and find a wife for Yitzchak in Charan. Yitzchak himself did not leave Eretz Yisroel, because, after the Akeida, he attained the status of olah temima, a perfect offering to God, and it was not fitting for him to dwell outside the Holy Land, even temporarily. Why, however, wasn’t Yitzchak at least consulted about the kind of woman he would like to marry? After all, according to the midrash he was already forty years old and certainly capable of forming an opinion on this matter. Rav Eliyahu Meir Bloch, zt”l, in his Peninei Da’as, explains that, in contrast to an animal, which is fully functional at birth – as the rabbis say, a one day old ox is an ox – the human being requires many years of training and education before he is ready to embark on his path in life. The more developed the person must be to fulfill his function in life, the longer this period of time must be. Yitzchak, as one of the forefathers, therefore, maintained his status of youth for longer than most people. Therefore, even at the age of forty, he was not consulted in regard to his upcoming marriage. I would like to suggest a different answer, based on a specific character trait shared by Avraham and Yitzchak that helped define their entire approach to life.

As a prelude to the mission of Eliezer, the Torah tells us that God blessed Avraham, “BaKol,” with everything (Bereishis 24:1). One opinion in the midrash is that he had a daughter. We have mentioned many times in the past that the Ramban explains this to refer to a character trait of God. Rav Levi Yitzchak of Berdichev, without mentioning the Ramban, explained it to refer to a human character trait. He says that “Kol” can be read as klal which refers to the collective, and explains that Avraham was constantly concerned with the needs of others, with the collective of mankind, and not only with his own relationship with God. This was a trait that he wished to inculcate in Yitzchak, as well. Perhaps that desire was strengthened by what happened in Sodom. As we explained in last week’s message, the primary sin of Sodom was that they did not help others, and even made it a crime to do so. This is why they were literally vomited out of Eretz Yisroel, which has a unifying factor inherent in its very nature. Perhaps this is why Yitzchak needed to stay in Eretz Yisroel, in order to reinforce the effect of this unifying factor upon him.

Following this approach we can further say that Yitzchak was not consulted about his preference for a wife because that would have made his choice a matter of personal need, while, in fact, his wife would need to join him in caring for others. Interestingly, midrash says that the first time that Rivkah saw Yitzchak, he was standing with his hands stretched out in prayer, and she was particularly impressed by the sight. I once heard, from Rabbi Shubert Spero, that what was so striking to Rivkah was the fact that Yitzchak’s hands were stretched out, indicating that he was praying for others, not only for himself, which would have been indicated had his hands have been folded in prayer.

Rivkah’s awestruck reaction to this kind of prayer indicated that she was the proper person to help Yitzchak carrying out his constant concern for others. The Kedushas Levi, in fact, points out that the Torah mentions that Yitzchak loved Rivkah only after it mentions that he took her as his wife. This shows that Yitzchak’s initial attraction to Rivkah was not of the personal nature but as being a proper partner to help carry out dedication to fulfilling the needs of others, following in the footsteps of his father.