לעלוי נשמת הגאון הר"ר אהרן בן הר"ר משה הלוי סאלאווייציק זצ"ל
פרשת נשא
One of the topics in this week’s parsha is the אשה סוטה.  The Ramban makes the following comment:
והנה אין בכל משפטי התורה דבר תלוי בנס זולתי העניין הזה,
שהוא פלא ונס קבוע שיעשה בישראל בהיותם רובם עושים רצונו של מקום..
This is the only mitzvah in the entire Torah which is dependant on the occurrence of a miracle.  If the suspected adulteress is guilty, the waters that she drinks will cause her to die.  If she is not guilty, she will not be harmed but blessed:
והשקה את המים, והיתה אם נטמאה ותמעל מעל באישה, ובאו בה המים המאררים למרים וצבתה בטנה ונפלה ירכה..
ואם לא נמטאה האשה וטהורה הוא ונקתה ונזרעה זרע.

What is the significance of this?  Why, of all the mitzvos in the Torah, is the mitzvah of checking the Sotah connected to the occurrence of a נס?  

The Shaim MiShmuel explains as follows:

דהנה אמרו ז"ל (סוטה י"ג) -  איש ואשה, זכו שכינה ביניהן.  וברש"י, דשם י"ה הוא בין איש לאשה יו"ד באיש וה"א באשה.  וידוע שהשם יו"ד ה"א הוא עלמא דאתכסיא, ומעלמא דאתכסיא באים הניסים כידוע.  וע"כ אשה כי תמעול מעל באישה היא פוגמת בשם זה.  וע"כ  העונש שהוא לעומת הפגם בא גם כן מעלמא דאתכסיא, הוא עולם הניסים, לעולם הזה..

The Shechina resides in the marriage relationship.  Rashi explains that the letter י from the man and the letter ה from the woman join to form the name י-ה of the Shem Havaya.  This first half of the Shem Havaya is the “Concealed World”.  Miracles originate in the “Concealed World”.  A woman who ח"ו committed adultery, blemished this Name.  Therefore, the punishment also comes from the “Concealed World”, the world of miracles.

*

There are two parts to reality and human experience.  There is the revealed realm and there is the concealed realm. The revealed realm is the mundane functioning of man interacting with world. The concealed realm is the sacred aspect of creation and human consciousness. It is a reality which is concealed and hidden. It cannot be openly observed and cannot be subjected to measurement. And it defies accurate description and expression through speech. It is hidden from the perception of the human eye and its essence cannot be grasped by logical thought processes.

Miracles originate in the concealed world because the reality of the concealed world is a transcendental and numinous reality which is not bound by time and space and is not controlled by the laws of natural phenomena.

We all function on the revealed level, for the most part.  We are busy with our day-to-day schedules.  We are busy making a livelihood, running our homes, providing for our children, and dealing with the “real world”.  The rules of the game are usually cut and dry, rational, action and reaction, par-for-the-course.

The marriage relationship, Chazal teach us, is something else.  It is sacred.  It is a place of Shechina, just like the Mishkan is a place of Shechina.  The rules here are different and very special.  If the rules are kept, if the ideals of love and devotion are striven for and there is a joint aspiration for tzedakah, kindness, tznius, faithfulness and loyalty, humility, the study of Torah, the fulfillment of mitzvos, idealism and Bitachon BaShem, then something extraordinary happens.  You will see wondrous developments. The marriage relationship becomes a fulfillment of the great bracha of כשמחך יצירך בגן עדן מקדם.  It becomes a splendid, flowering and flourishing garden of Bitachon BaShem.

Just like in the Mishkan, the Kohanim and Leviim had their daily Avodah, so in the marriage relationship, there is ongoing service, ongoing work.  The work might seem mundane.  It is not.  It is an esoteric activity and has a wondrous effect.  It brings the Shechina to reside. And the Gan Eden of the marriage blossoms.

Listen to this story, firsthand:

“S” was working very hard to improve her relationship with her husband.  She was by nature a very strong-minded person.  She always had very strong opinions and feelings about issues, especially when she was convinced that she was right.  This work was grueling for her.  However, she was determined to do it right.  
Once, a certain question arose.  Her husband had made a decision which she very strongly felt was wrong.  Should she tell him??  Should she keep quiet??  Maybe she should tell him, because she was so sure, she knew, that she was right.  Or should she keep quiet, because she also knew that being overbearing would be very detrimental to the relationship.  
She wanted to do what was right, and had no idea which way to turn.
Just then, she saw, from the corner of her eye, a Chumash that was left open.  She was always careful not to leave Sifrei Kodesh open, when not in use.  She went to close the sefer.  Suddenly, the following passuk flashed out at her:
"..השמר לך פן תדבר עם יעקב מטוב עד רע."
Her husband’s name is Yaakov.

There is the revealed world in the marriage relationship.  There are chores and financial challenges, there are concrete goals, there are bills to pay and deadlines to meet..

Then, there is the concealed realm. There are the feelings of love and devotion that reside and are embedded in  the deep recesses of human consciousness, in the uncharted depths of the human soul. This is a sacred and concealed realm of human existence in which powerful subterranean emotions stream forcefully in a great harmony of sanctity, loyalty and love. And these emotions express themselves and are manifest primarily through a disciplined ongoing avodah. This has do to with the roles delineated by the Torah.  The love and devotion, the respect, the space given.  This has to do with the whole realm of speech – how to talk to each other, how to communicate.  This has to do with the endless mutual acts of disciplined selflessness, carried out with joy and enthusiasm.

Sefer Bamidbar opens with the mitzvah of setting up the degalim around the Mishkan, the role of Shevet Levi, and rules of maintaining the Kedusha in Am Yisrael’s encampments.  When all is carried out, the wondrous reality of השראת השכינה happens.  So, too, it is in the home, when the avodah and safeguards are maintained..  

איש ואשה – זכו, שכינה ביניהם.
A gutten Erev Shabbos
from Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh